A father passing by his Little Johnny’s bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, “Dad.”
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter:
“Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I’ve been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But it’s not only the passion, Dad… she’s pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for cocaine and ecstasy we’ll need.
In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.
Don’t worry Dad, I’m 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.Your son,
Johnny
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that’s in my desk drawer.“
